The holidays

It's that time of year again... the holidays have pounced upon us with little warning! YIKES! Ryan and I have just barely started Christmas shopping but luckily we made things a little less stressful this year by just buying something for the house vs taking the time and money to buy individual gifts for each other.

While the holidays are generally a source of great happiness around our house for Ryan and myself, I do often find myself slipping into a fit of anger because I dont have the opportunity to spend as much time as I would like with my family. I am very appreciative that I have Ryan to be a consistent figure in my life so that I always have a wonderful person to be a pillar of strength as well as a member of my family around me. While I appreciate it, it increases my yearning to spend time with my family that I grew up with.

Well it is the responsibility of both parties to attempt to bring a family together, both sides of situation need to be willing to do that. When do you reach a point that your willingness subsides and just turns into anger and bitterness? I think I have reached that point, I find just the thought of trying to get my family together makes my heart beat faster, makes my palms sweat and makes me want to shout at the next person that talks to me. I know...not great characteristics to have but it is definitely how I feel sometimes... actually most of the time in reference to this topic... but needles to say the holidays are both frustrating and a point of great joy to me, I know this is confusing but if you understand my situation I think you can empathize.

Sorry for the ranting, it made me feel a little bit better... not much but a little bit ...

Regardless I do wish you and your family a happy and safe holiday season!